Quietly she sat in the meadow, waiting. Soon the sun would makes it's way through the darkness. Promises had been made to that affect. She had been promised the sun would shine this day. Pulling her knees up she resting her chin wrapping her arms tightly around her legs.
She started thinking back. How many times was this promise made? I heavy sigh escaped her lips. Looking around she noticed the plants were losing their color. That vibrant green was fading. The purple was more of a lavender color. The sky was still gray and unfriendly looking. It was as if the gray was taking the color from everything around her.
Shaking her head she stood and made her way back to her cottage. Inside was inviting. Bright and warm with the fire light the cottage was. She busied herself with her herbs, checking to see if some were dried. They weren't ready yet so she sat by the fire with a book. She was so distracted by the sun not shining she couldn't concentrate on her book. Busy work would keep her occupied for a while. She straightened her herbs, oils, well really the whole house. Night came and she went to bed. In her dreams the sun again promised to rise.
Waking a smile spread across her face. She stretched and rolled on the bed. This would be a good day, she said to herself. Her steps were light as she made breakfast. "I think I'll take it outside and wait on the sun", she said to herself. It was gray when she opened her door and she bravely stepped out into it. The sun would appear today, it promised.
The meadow was where she waited again, only to be disappointed one more time. Each day she noticed a little less color in the plants and flowers. She felt dejected by what was happening. Back at her cottage she could take no solace in the light from inside. It didn't seem to burn as brightly anymore. That night she heard the Sun whisper once more, "I am here you just can't see me". She answered, "Then how do I know you are there". There was no response.
She lost count of how many days it had been since the Sun spoke last to her. Every day she went to the meadow and every day there was no Sun. One morning while eating her breakfast she saw a brightness outside she had not seen in ages. She hurried outside to stand in the warmth of the Sun only to find it disappeared as quickly as it had come. She screamed her loss to the sky. The next day she again went to the meadow to wait for the Sun. After a couple of days she decided the Sun would never return. Her anger was growing inside of her. She sat in the corner not worrying with anything in her life. She just sat. Not even tending her fire and slowly it was dying out. This time the Sun made it's promise in her waking time. She held the words that she wanted to say for fear that the Sun would not show. All she could do was bow her head and say yes.
The next day she added some wood to the fire which had almost died. The fire struggled but was burning brightly again. She smiled and said yes today is the day. The Sun will make good it's promise. It wasn't to be on that day. Again disappointment was hers. She screamed to the sky, "Why does the Sun make these promises and then not do so"? The sky didn't answer, it was only gray. Back to the cottage once again and she didn't know if she could take this or not. Was there a lesson she was to be learning in this? Why was this happening? She shook her head and sat quietly in front of the dying fire. Should she even bother keeping it alive? A small voice inside of her could only say don't lose hope.
II
She decided that the Sun had good reasons for not showing it's self to her. Maybe they were more like excuses she made for the Sun. It had to be that the Sun was needed by another place or someone else more than her. These are the things she calmed herself with. Yet in her mind she still wondered if they were true. Ever so often the Sun would speak to her telling her "soon".
The soons the Sun spoke of still hadn't come. She was wondering why she waited for it at all. There were no answers for her. Not even any offered.
Walking a now well beaten path around her cottage she said I'm losing hope. She wailed to whoever would hear that her hope was almost gone. Inside her she heard the voice again. "Do not lose hope". "What do you mean not lose hope?", she cried out loud. "I have no hope left in me." She said quietly to herself. Sitting on the ground she saw different little bugs busy at work. The ants had a line going back to their nest, returning with food for them all. Other little bugs scurrying along. "Even they have hope" she said to herself. "But they know no other way. They do these things for survival." She spoke back to herself.
She gathered herself and back into the cottage she went. There were more whispers from the Sun but she was losing hope still. Much to her surprise she woke on morning to find the Sun was shining. She basked in the Sun every moment she could. As the shadow grew long the Sun receded and she was left in the dying light. Hope grew inside of her during that time. The Sun had caressed her and warmed her. She was up dancing around the cottage doing the things that needed to be done. "It felt good to have hope again." She said to herself. There was no voice talking back at her now and she just smiled. She gripped hope so hard with both hands she didn't notice how the Sun had again slipped away. The smile that was on her face was from the hope that she kept with her.
As time passed her smile became more of a forced thing. She held her head high not wanting to hear those little doubting words that niggled in the back of her mind. Pushing them back she chose not to acknowledge them. If she didn't, they weren't true, right?
Wait. Maybe this niggling was true. Maybe she was ignoring something she has known all along. Maybe she was not seeing the whole picture. Could this be true? Maybe she should not worry whether the Sun shines. Maybe she can live in the grayness and be happy.
She went through the days holding tightly onto the thought that she could be happy even in the grayness. Still there was an unknown voice, "You deserve what you want. That will bring back the Sun". The voice made her nervous. What could she do to bring back the Sun? That wasn't within her power, was it?
III
It became darker than she thought possible. At times the Sun would whisper to her and others she heard nothing. Further into the darkness she went there wasn't any light to be seen. There seem to be no reason to even wake up in the mornings. No hope?
For days she just lay there watching her fire burn down. There was one ember left glowing softly when the night came. She lay there in all her sorrow and cried out to her Goddess. "Why have I been forgotten?" For three days she stay deep in her sorrow watching that one lone ember. She grabbed some dried rosemary and threw it on the fire. It crackled and flamed up. The room glowed brightly for a moment. In that moment she heard a voice in her head. Something about feeding the fire or was it about feeding her heart?
She got up and found more fuel for the fire. Some dried grass and kindling wood was placed on the ember. She coaxed the ember by gently blowing on the dried grass. Smoke curled up from the grass and a flame slowly began to grow. Carefully she tended this flame until again it burned brightly. A smile came to her lips as she watched the fire grow. Her cottage again was warm and welcoming.
One simple word she heard clearly as if she had said it herself. "Good". A single spark lifted and slowly went up into the air. Up and out the chimney it went. She began to work around her cottage when she noticed something different. Pushing the shutter open the sunshine streamed through. She rushed outside to see the sun had risen again.